The money conversation you keep putting off
If something happened to you tomorrow, would anyone know where everything is?
I've asked people that question many times over 22 years in finance. The usual answer is a pause, a nervous laugh, then "probably not". Not because they're careless. Because the conversation feels awkward, a bit morbid, and never quite urgent.
This week is Talk Money Week (2 to 6 November), run by the Money and Pensions Service. This year's theme is "It All Counts": small, realistic steps. So here's one small step worth taking. Start the money conversation you keep putting off.
Why it keeps getting put off
It feels like tempting fate.
You worry it'll show you haven't got everything sorted.
One of you "does the money", and the other has never needed to know.
Raising it with your parents feels like crossing a line.
All of these are completely normal. But none of them helps the person left trying to piece things together at the hardest time of their life.
What someone would actually need to find
You don't need to share balances or read out passwords. You just need to make sure someone you trust could find:
Your bank and savings accounts, and who they're with
Your pensions, including old workplace ones from previous jobs
Life cover and any other policies
Your will, and where the original is kept
Who to call: your accountant, solicitor or employer
A plan for your phone, email and online accounts, so someone could get in if they needed to (not passwords on a sticky note)
If you're self-employed or run a business: who could step in to invoice, pay the bills or close things down properly
Lost track of an old pension? GOV.UK has a pension tracing service that helps you find contact details for a past workplace or personal pension provider.
Why pensions make this more pressing from April 2027
Until now, most unused pension money has sat outside your estate for inheritance tax. That's changing. From 6 April 2027, most unused pension funds and death benefits will count towards the value of an estate for inheritance tax.
Some things stay outside. Death-in-service benefits from a registered pension scheme are excluded, and pension money passing to a surviving spouse or civil partner remains exempt. The people dealing with your estate will be responsible for reporting and paying any tax due.
That last point matters. If your executors don't know which pensions exist, they can't deal with them properly. It's one more reason to get it written down and make sure someone knows where.
I'm not going to tell you what to do about the tax itself. That depends on your whole picture. But knowing what you have, and making sure someone else can find it, is the starting point for everyone.
How to open the conversation
With a partner
Pick a calm moment, not the middle of a row about a bill.
Start with "if": "If I got ill, would you know where to start?"
Agree one small next step, not a complete overhaul.
With your parents
Make it about you: "I've been sorting my own paperwork and it got me wondering..."
Ask where things are, not what's in them.
Expect it to take more than one conversation. That's fine.
Do this week
Write one list of every account, pension and policy you hold. Provider names only, no balances.
Tell one person where that list lives.
Check where your will is. If you don't have one, put a date in the diary to sort it.
Book 20 minutes with your partner, or a parent, to talk it through.
If you'd like a structure to follow, my In Good Order organiser walks through all of this section by section, and covers all four UK nations.
This is exactly where the EDGE programme begins. Evaluate is about getting a clear picture of what you have and where it is, before anything else. For most people, that step alone takes a weight off.
If you'd like to talk it through, book a free 15-minute clarity call. No products, no sales pitch. Just a straight conversation about where you are and what might help.
Ndgo Edge™ provides financial coaching and education, not regulated financial advice. Nothing in this article is a personal recommendation. Inheritance tax rules can change and depend on your circumstances, so speak to a solicitor or regulated financial adviser before acting on them.
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